Love Does- Winter Retreat 2014

This was the theme for the weekend. Also, the anatomically correct heart is legit.

I recently went to my youth group's winter retreat up at Crooked Creek Ranch. And, despite my brother from not being able to come, it was quite a good time.
Usually I come away from these retreats with one single thing that I remember for a few months and then mostly stop thinking about for the rest of the year until the next one comes.
I'm fairly certain that that won't happen with this winter retreat for a few reasons. 1) It was the first retreat with our new youth pastor. 2) It was the most I've ever seen God move in the group before. 3) I've never felt so much joy and contentment than at that retreat. And 4) There were quite a few things that the speaker said that caused me to think.
These things are the things that I want to use this post to work through all that I saw God doing.

Our youth group had been without a youth pastor for, I think, 15 months. In November(?) the church hired Josh. So I think both the students and him were worried that this retreat was going to be kind of awkward at some points. Well, it was quite the opposite. I got to know him better and it was really cool to see him council and encourage the guys in the youth group. If any of us were waiting for confirmation that the elders made the correct decision in hiring this guy, this retreat was it. Josh is fantastic. And it was really cute whenever his wife would text him a picture of his new baby son because his eyes would light up and he'd show everyone. It was adorable.

I've been to four retreats before this one. Each time there had been a whole ton of crying Saturday night and everyone, including me, was convicted about some sort of sin or crying about some difficulty in their life they were having a hard time dealing with. All this was kept until Saturday night and then we'd cry and pray and then it was all good.

This one was different.

Our first session, which was Friday night, was about God's abundant love for us. It was basically the Gospel presentation. It was a session which I, personally, really appreciated since I find that I can take God's love for granted and forget about it most of the time. The major thing was "Before you find out was love DOES, you need to remember was love DID."
When we got to our private youth group discussion a few of my friends were crying. They said that they couldn't figure out how God could love them if they couldn't even love themselves. They didn't understand why they didn't feel anything when everyone else did. One of my friends said that they struggle with depression and often thought that no one would care if they were dead. This broke my heart and I just about cried for them because I remembered back in middle school when I hated myself. So Friday night we prayed that God would show them his love, that they would see it plainly and hold onto it throughout the hard times of life.

Saturday morning was probably my favorite session. The speaker taught about the scripture in Matthew that says "The kingdom of Heaven is like a treasure found in the middle of a field. When a man finds it, he buries it again and goes and sells all he owns to buy the field" or something like that.
The main point I got out of it was that the joy and fulfillment that comes with faith in Christ is so much more valuable than anything else.
The speaker used a story to illustrate this principle further. He told a story of a guy who, no surprise, finds treasure in the middle of the field. So then he goes to the guy who owns the field and asks to buy the portion of the land. Long story short, the owner of the field takes everything from him. His car, all of his money, his college account, his Xbox, his iPad, EVERYTHING. And the guy who wanted to buy the field keeps reminding himself of the value of the treasure every time he wants to walk away from the deal. After the guy takes everything from him, he gives it back to the buyer and tells him, "I'm giving it back to you, but it belongs to me. So whenever someone asks you for you time, give it to them. Because it's not your time, it's mine now. If someone asks for some money, give it to them. It's not your money anymore, it's mine."
That really impacted me because... I have nothing that God didn't give me so why am I selfish with it?
Also, why am I satisfied with the things I have on Earth when God's abundance is so much greater. He quoted Jim Elliot saying "He is no fool who gives up what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose."
Why am I so easily satisfied with stupid things??

Saturday night session came, and this is usually the cry-fest, emotional one. They did something different this year. So rather it being a lesson/sermon thing it was a "Worship Experience". Basically it was a personal prayer session with different things to do and reflect over. I like it so much more than a single lesson because each person was able to think about separate, personal things rather than what the teacher was saying.
I wasn't feeling very convicted of anything for most of it, and I started to wonder if there was something wrong with me or if I wasn't committed enough to hearing God's voice. But after the "Worship Experience" we sang a few praise songs and I saw a glimpse of God's glory and perfection. I've never been so joyful and worshipful except maybe in Costa Rica.
Then the small group discussion was even better because it wasn't just conviction and sorrow. Yes, there was a good amount of that, but it wasn't the only thing that happened that night.

Remember those students I talked about earlier? Well, they said that the moment they woke up Saturday morning they knew and felt that God loved them. How cool is that? That pretty much instantly God answered our prayers and showed them his love.
It was a great reminder of the different ways that God can work. He brought different sins to people's attention, he was able to encourage those who were going through a hard time, and he visible and quickly answered all of our prayers in just those few days.
Just thinking about it now makes me happy and I'm smiling just typing this.

Sunday morning, which is usually the session that I end up forgetting, will probably be the lesson that I remember the most.
Growing up in the church I've heard the story of the Good Samaritan so many times and I basically tune out anything that's said about it anymore because it's always the same thing. That's what I started doing during this session because he started talking about loving your neighbor and blah blah blah. But then he said something that totally changed the way I view the story.
If you don't know the story of the Good Samaritan, here's a link to the passage on BibleGateway.com
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke%2010:25-37&version=NIV
It's really short and sweet, won't take you long.
The teacher said that the Levite and the Priest passed by the poor fellow because of religious obligation. They thought they were loving God by not helping the guy. Because if he had been dead, they would have been "unclean" and therefore unable to serve at the temple and therefore unable to provide for their families. The guy's message was basically to not let your religion get in the way of showing mercy.

Don't let your religion get in the way of showing mercy. As in, don't avoid and condemn certain situations that would provide you with an opportunity to share Jesus just because of your religious obligations. He said this with a warning of making sure that everything you do is because you love God wholeheartedly and want to be a light for him.

That just blew my mind and provided me with a new outlook on this story.

Just writing this blog post I'm noticing that God started with telling me that he is enough and that the hope in heaven should be enough to satisfy me Saturday morning and then Saturday night showed me just a glimpse of what Heaven will be like.

This retreat was amazing. I got closer to everyone and learned a whole lot of stuff about God's love. I pray that God will continue to show the youth group his glory and encourage us. I pray we will remember everything that God showed us this weekend when our lives get hard and we can't hear God's voice through all the confusion.

Much love,
Amanda <3

Stream of Consciousness 4

Goodness I'm tired, but I am thinking of a lot of stuff. So here it goes...

First off, at youth group today, my youth pastor was talking about this passage in 1 Corinthians 1 that says "God will frustrate the intelligence of the intelligent." And in the group, everyone was talking about it as if God was frustrating the intelliGENT. Like he was just making them angry and aggravated for the heck of it. But the verse says that he frustrates the intelliGENCE. Well, I tried to say something but my brain to mouth coordination wasn't working too properly. So it I'm not sure what was communicated. But intelliGENCE is not capable of feeling emotion. So, therefore, the only proper and logical definition of the word "frustrate" would be "To prevent (a plan or attempted action) from progressing, succeeding, or being fulfilled." (I got that from Google.) God will confuse or mess up the intelliGENCE of the intelliGENT. Which, yes, may cause the intelliGENT to get frustrated. But he is not frustrating the intelligent, he's frustrating the intelligence.
I'm not sure why it bugged me so much. But it did and now I blogged about it.
So there.

The other night I went to this Civil War Ball with my friends and with my dad. It was really fun! I couldn't imagine living in those dresses, though. And corsets? My goodness. Some of those dances were pretty complicated. But I really enjoyed how everyone just talking to each other and was nice to each other. Not sure about public schoolers, but it seems as if whenever there's a group of homeschoolers who don't know each other, everyone talks to each other anyway. And people say we're unsocial.

At church today I thought up a brilliant line for my book during the lesson but I didn't want to write it down in the middle of it because then it would look like I was taking notes. I didn't want people thinking that because I wasn't taking notes at all... hehe. Thankfully I remembered it, though.

After church I went out to lunch with a friend that I haven't seen in a while. It was really awesome! I really like those friends that you can just talk to, even if you haven't seen them in months.

I was driving home tonight. It was dark outside (duh) and I had my glasses on and the road was super curvy. I was so stressed, oh my goodness. Because my glasses glared the lights so when I was turning I could see that cars were coming, but I couldn't see the lane I was supposed to turn in to. I eventually just let my dad drive.

I START SCHOOL ON TUESDAY. I can't decided if I'm excited or if I'm dreading the upcoming assignments and frustrations that come with school. Thankfully, neither I nor my brother have a first period class. (Even though EVERYONE'S telling me to take Apologetics (the first period class.).)

How do you do parentheses inside of another pair of parentheses? That really threw me off for a second...

SHERLOCK ENDED IN ENGLAND TODAY BUT IT'S NOT ON THE INTERNET YET AND I'M ABOUT TO DIE.

Kay, bye.

-Amanda <3

Feminist Frustrations

Honestly, I feel bad for guys these days. It's like nothing they do is ever right, you know? I see it all the time. They try to be nice and gentlemanly and, say, hold a door open for a girl. But the girl just gets offended because it's like the guy is treating her inferior or something. 
Sure, the girl could have opened the door for herself. But the guy was being nice! He's not doubting her ability to open doors, or in anyway saying that the girl is somehow dependent on the guy to open the door. He was being nice. 
I blame this phenomenon on feminism.
Feminism is seriously one of the most obnoxious things out there right now. But, since I didn't really know anything about it other than the general idea which may or may not be correct, I did some research and went to good ol' trusty Google. 
This is what I found:

"British suffragist and journalist Rebecca West famously said, "Feminism is the radical notion that women are people." In other words, feminism is a commitment to achieving the equality of the sexes. This radical notion is not exclusive to women: men, while benefiting from being the dominant sex, also have a stake in overcoming the restrictive roles that deprive them of full humanity."  http://www.redletterpress.org/feminism101.html

"In the most basic sense, feminism is exactly what the dictionary says it is: the movement for social, political, and economic equality of men and women....
Breaking down that one very basic definition, feminism has three components. It is a movement, meaning a group working to accomplish specific goals. Those goals are social and political change -implying that one must be engaged with the government and law, as well as social practices and beliefs. And implicit to these goals is access to sufficient information to enable women to make responsible choices."
http://www.feminist.com/resources/artspeech/genwom/whatisfem.htm

Let me first say that I think women should be able to vote and, if they choose to work, get paid the same amount as men. All that stuff is great. *thumbs up*
However, the concept of feminism as a whole. This "equality" of sexes. This "radical notion that women are people" does not make sense. Especially if one looks at the Bible for the role that each gender should play in society and in the family.

I read this article last night: http://msmagazine.com/blog/2013/05/24/what-do-dress-codes-say-about-girls-bodies/
This article discusses the effect that a dress code apparently has on a girl's thought process. Apparently, telling girls to cover up is misogyny? I don't even know. 
I clicked on the article because I have a dress code at my school. Also, my parents are strict, you could say, about the clothes that I wear. Now, I think both the dress code at my school and parents' standards are completely reasonable.  I was curious as to what they'd say about it. 
There is a point in the article where it says:

When you deem a girl’s dress “inappropriate,” you’re also telling her, “Because your body may distract boys, your body is inappropriate. Cover it up.” You recontextualize her body; she now exists through the male gaze.

First of all, if your clothes are so bad that the boys in your class can't focus on school, perhaps it is a good thing that you are being told what to wear. 
Second of all, if your clothes are distracting the boys in your class and causing them to objectify you, I don't see why covering it up would be oppressive. Would it not be helpful to you?
I understand that part of the responsibility lies on the guys to resist looking at you in that way. However, would you like it of someone dangled something you really want, I don't know, a really delicious looking morsel of food, in your face and then hated you for wanting it- even though it looks like you could just go up and eat it. You're going to want the food, it's natural. In the same way, guys naturally look at girls dressed provocatively and objectify them. You can't blame them for looking at you that way if you dress like you want them to.
I am obviously not a guy. But that is basically what I've been told it's like for guys by other guys. So if you want confirmation, as a guy. 

Another example of this is bikinis. Now, I know a lot of people who wear a bikini. But I am going to tell you that I don't wear one because they are immodest and they don't help my brothers in Christ keep their mind on Christ. 
 I don't know why my friends wear bikinis. However, I have heard many arguments claiming that telling girls they can't wear bikinis is somehow oppressive and you're allowing yourself to be degraded if you don't wear one.
I can say confidently that bikinis do more harm than good. I have an older brother and he often tells me how difficult it is to keep his thoughts clear when we go to Elitch's or Water World because of all the girls running around in less-than-underwear. I don't see how wearing bikinis or short shorts or whatever other piece of trashy clothing you decide to wear someone promotes gender equality. Wouldn't you rather guys look at you in a non-lustful way? How does allowing yourself to be objectified keep you from being oppressed?

 Going back to the previous quote:  I don't understand what's so bad about covering up your body because it's distracting? How would that harm the way that you look at yourself? Would it not help men to respect you more when you look more respectable? I wear modest clothing because I want my guy friends to think of me as a friend. Not like another guy, per-say, but as a girl who is a friend, as a person. And if they do like me, I want them to like me for other reasons other than my body. 
If feminism is the movement for the equality of all genders, keeping one gender from objectifying the other one seems like a great place to start. 
This goes for guys, too, though. I think the church spends a long time lecturing girls on dressing modestly and lecturing guys on not lusting over the girls.
But girls struggle with lust, too. And if you're going to lecture the girls in not wearing bikinis, you should probably let the guys know that perhaps they should leave their shirt on more often and maybe pull up their swimsuit a little bit.

But back to feminism. 
There's this whole thing that I see now looking down on stay-at-home moms and dads that work. As if the mom is only staying at home because her husband is making her, or she doesn't feel "strong" enough to go out and work. 
Here's a thought:   maybe she just really loves her kids. 
Perhaps she's fulfilling the command that women are supposed to stay home and take care if her family while the man works to provide.
There's nothing wrong with a working mom. Especially if they're single. But just because one mom doesn't work doesn't mean that she is allowing the man in her life to keep her down.  

Colossians 3:18-19 says 

"Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. 

Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them."

1 Peter 3:1-7 says:

"Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. 4 Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, 6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers."

"Treat them with respect as the weaker partner." 

Hey, feminists, sorry about this. But women and men are different. Our biology is different. Our thought processes are different. I don't think anyone will argue against me saying that, generally, women are way more emotional than men. I don't think anyone will argue against me saying that, generally, men are stronger than woman. 
And especially within a family, the man is supposed to be the leader. I know that once I get married this will be difficult for me, being a natural leader and all that, but it is the way things were meant to be.

I feel bad for the guys in my life because they cannot do anything right anymore. Ask a girl to be modest and he's a perv. Look at a girl when she's immodest and he's also a perv. Try to provide for his family and he's oppressing his wife. Let his wife work and he's lazy. 

This is why most aspects of feminism just don't make sense to me. All these issues with women's rights and abortion, with women in combat, with this whole dress-code ordeal. 
It's probably just because of my world-view or something like that. But feminism makes absolutely no sense. And it's probably one of the most obnoxious things out there in the political world and it really just needs to stop. 

This has been the end of my partially thought-out rant. Thank you for reading.

Much love,
Amanda :)

EDIT: So I just read tonight this lovely article on Comcast. It's about Candace Cameron and being a "submissive" wife: http://xfinity.comcast.net/articles/entertainment-eonline/20140107/b496430/

Imagination

I think we, as humans, get bored too easily. We require so much to keep us entertained. But why can't we just use our imaginations? There's beauty in the so called "plain".
Maybe it's because I consider myself a writer, but there are times when I just can't help but discover the interesting and beautiful things in otherwise boring life.
Everyone you come in contact with is dealing with his own sort of issues. That guy is totally separate from you until your fingers brush his as he hands you your coffee and wishes you a good morning. Then you go on your separate way.
The plastic grocery bags that blow through the wind. Where have they been? Where will they end up? How did they end up blowing across your intersection?
How many people have touched that dollar bill? What was the other guy buying when he spent it?
Or that guy next to you at the stoplight. Why is he eating his sandwich? What circumstances caused him to be unable to eat it at home? Where is he going, anyway? What is his name?

The world really is an interesting place. I think we take it for granted, actually. Even the parts that most people would find "ugly" are beautiful. Downtown, for instance. The 16th Street Mall. Most people seem to find it dirty or gross. But think about it for a second. There's all these people. Somehow they ended up at the same place you are. Mankind has built some amazing structures. Nature is beautiful, but that doesn't mean that anything that man has made is somehow not pretty.

The world is so interesting and you're just a tiny party of it all. Really, neither of us have have any excuse to be bored. But yet it happens because we're just not creative enough. We want someone else to imagine things for us, and once we're done with whatever they've imagined we're just.. bored again.

There's so much opportunity for stories to be written, for art to be made, pictures to be taken. Don't even write it down if you don't want. But isn't it interesting to think about the little things? Why don't more people think about these things??????

People, use your imagination for once and stop being bored all the time!

Spongebob knows what's up:

Much love,
-Amanda. :)

Also, I wrote most of this at about 2 in the morning when I had reached the "Oh my goodness this is a revelation that everyone needs to know about!" stage. So, I hope this makes sense.