Sure, the girl could have opened the door for herself. But the guy was being nice! He's not doubting her ability to open doors, or in anyway saying that the girl is somehow dependent on the guy to open the door. He was being nice.
I blame this phenomenon on feminism.
Feminism is seriously one of the most obnoxious things out there right now. But, since I didn't really know anything about it other than the general idea which may or may not be correct, I did some research and went to good ol' trusty Google.
This is what I found:
"British suffragist and journalist Rebecca West famously said, "Feminism is the radical notion that women are people." In other words, feminism is a commitment to achieving the equality of the sexes. This radical notion is not exclusive to women: men, while benefiting from being the dominant sex, also have a stake in overcoming the restrictive roles that deprive them of full humanity." http://www.redletterpress.org/feminism101.html
"In the most basic sense, feminism is exactly what the dictionary says it is: the movement for social, political, and economic equality of men and women....Let me first say that I think women should be able to vote and, if they choose to work, get paid the same amount as men. All that stuff is great. *thumbs up*
Breaking down that one very basic definition, feminism has three components. It is a movement, meaning a group working to accomplish specific goals. Those goals are social and political change -implying that one must be engaged with the government and law, as well as social practices and beliefs. And implicit to these goals is access to sufficient information to enable women to make responsible choices."
http://www.feminist.com/resources/artspeech/genwom/whatisfem.htm
However, the concept of feminism as a whole. This "equality" of sexes. This "radical notion that women are people" does not make sense. Especially if one looks at the Bible for the role that each gender should play in society and in the family.
I read this article last night: http://msmagazine.com/blog/2013/05/24/what-do-dress-codes-say-about-girls-bodies/
This article discusses the effect that a dress code apparently has on a girl's thought process. Apparently, telling girls to cover up is misogyny? I don't even know.
I clicked on the article because I have a dress code at my school. Also, my parents are strict, you could say, about the clothes that I wear. Now, I think both the dress code at my school and parents' standards are completely reasonable. I was curious as to what they'd say about it.
There is a point in the article where it says:
When you deem a girl’s dress “inappropriate,” you’re also telling her, “Because your body may distract boys, your body is inappropriate. Cover it up.” You recontextualize her body; she now exists through the male gaze.First of all, if your clothes are so bad that the boys in your class can't focus on school, perhaps it is a good thing that you are being told what to wear.
Second of all, if your clothes are distracting the boys in your class and causing them to objectify you, I don't see why covering it up would be oppressive. Would it not be helpful to you?
I understand that part of the responsibility lies on the guys to resist looking at you in that way. However, would you like it of someone dangled something you really want, I don't know, a really delicious looking morsel of food, in your face and then hated you for wanting it- even though it looks like you could just go up and eat it. You're going to want the food, it's natural. In the same way, guys naturally look at girls dressed provocatively and objectify them. You can't blame them for looking at you that way if you dress like you want them to.
I am obviously not a guy. But that is basically what I've been told it's like for guys by other guys. So if you want confirmation, as a guy.
Another example of this is bikinis. Now, I know a lot of people who wear a bikini. But I am going to tell you that I don't wear one because they are immodest and they don't help my brothers in Christ keep their mind on Christ.
I don't know why my friends wear bikinis. However, I have heard many arguments claiming that telling girls they can't wear bikinis is somehow oppressive and you're allowing yourself to be degraded if you don't wear one.
I can say confidently that bikinis do more harm than good. I have an older brother and he often tells me how difficult it is to keep his thoughts clear when we go to Elitch's or Water World because of all the girls running around in less-than-underwear. I don't see how wearing bikinis or short shorts or whatever other piece of trashy clothing you decide to wear someone promotes gender equality. Wouldn't you rather guys look at you in a non-lustful way? How does allowing yourself to be objectified keep you from being oppressed?
Going back to the previous quote: I don't understand what's so bad about covering up your body because it's distracting? How would that harm the way that you look at yourself? Would it not help men to respect you more when you look more respectable? I wear modest clothing because I want my guy friends to think of me as a friend. Not like another guy, per-say, but as a girl who is a friend, as a person. And if they do like me, I want them to like me for other reasons other than my body.
If feminism is the movement for the equality of all genders, keeping one gender from objectifying the other one seems like a great place to start.
This goes for guys, too, though. I think the church spends a long time lecturing girls on dressing modestly and lecturing guys on not lusting over the girls.
But girls struggle with lust, too. And if you're going to lecture the girls in not wearing bikinis, you should probably let the guys know that perhaps they should leave their shirt on more often and maybe pull up their swimsuit a little bit.
But back to feminism.
There's this whole thing that I see now looking down on stay-at-home moms and dads that work. As if the mom is only staying at home because her husband is making her, or she doesn't feel "strong" enough to go out and work.
Here's a thought: maybe she just really loves her kids.
Perhaps she's fulfilling the command that women are supposed to stay home and take care if her family while the man works to provide.
There's nothing wrong with a working mom. Especially if they're single. But just because one mom doesn't work doesn't mean that she is allowing the man in her life to keep her down.
Colossians 3:18-19 says
"Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.
Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them."1 Peter 3:1-7 says:
"Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. 4 Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, 6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers."
"Treat them with respect as the weaker partner."
Hey, feminists, sorry about this. But women and men are different. Our biology is different. Our thought processes are different. I don't think anyone will argue against me saying that, generally, women are way more emotional than men. I don't think anyone will argue against me saying that, generally, men are stronger than woman.
And especially within a family, the man is supposed to be the leader. I know that once I get married this will be difficult for me, being a natural leader and all that, but it is the way things were meant to be.
I feel bad for the guys in my life because they cannot do anything right anymore. Ask a girl to be modest and he's a perv. Look at a girl when she's immodest and he's also a perv. Try to provide for his family and he's oppressing his wife. Let his wife work and he's lazy.
This is why most aspects of feminism just don't make sense to me. All these issues with women's rights and abortion, with women in combat, with this whole dress-code ordeal.
It's probably just because of my world-view or something like that. But feminism makes absolutely no sense. And it's probably one of the most obnoxious things out there in the political world and it really just needs to stop.
This has been the end of my partially thought-out rant. Thank you for reading.
Much love,
Amanda :)
EDIT: So I just read tonight this lovely article on Comcast. It's about Candace Cameron and being a "submissive" wife: http://xfinity.comcast.net/articles/entertainment-eonline/20140107/b496430/
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